YES. i have hyper velocity moodswings.
if you've got a problem with it, i'm so sorry.
like i've said, i'm human. i need time to change, to improve.
if you cannot let me have this time frame to improve, i'm so sorry to disappoint you.
i don't know what's wrong with me.
but one moment i can be happy&merrily telling you how happy i am, the other moment i find myself being so affected by your not so expected plain reaction.
say i'm sensitive, say i'm being emotional, say i'm being such a sway-able.
i don't know what to do to stop myself from being like that.
happy?
i am firm. but you make me so uncertain.
BECAUSE YOU BLOODY DON'T GIVE ME THE ASSURANCE.
ohboy.
this refers to nobody in particular.

yes. i promised i'll try to change.
be less moody.
appear great in front of everybody.
yes i am.
don't you guys think i just look so happy in font of you guys.
hey, i laugh along don't i.
i exercise control..
but you jolly well don't try to act funny and be the trigger of negativity.
then you'll suffer hell from my attitude man.
don't try.
you'ld beg for time to rewind.

sorry if i was bad tempered im some way recently.
perhaps these few days are rather mood degrading.
i received 4consecutive days of nagging from my mother;
& i argued with her for 2 consecutive days;
& she's venting her goddamn anger on the family;
& she doesn't trust me at all.

forget her stupid bad mood alright. it's typical.
i mean. C'MON LA. she doesn't even trust me in being able to complete my work.
ta ma de.
as i'm doing my work now, she's lying on the sofa instead of going up to her room to sleep.
WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THIS?!
it's freaking obvious she wants to make sure i do my stuff la.
I JUST FELT LIKE SHOUTING AT HER SO MUCH.
WHAT FOR YOU SIT HERE AND LOOK AT ME DO MY WORK.
YOU WANNA MAKE SURE, TELL ME LA.
I ASK YOU YOU SAY NOTHING.
ACT LIKE YOU REALLY NOT TRYING TO INVIGILATE ME.

HEY. I NEED MY FREEDOM OKAY.
YOU RESTRICT MY DAILY MOVEMENT-
SCOLD ME FOR USING INTERNET.
SCOLD ME FOR USING MSN.
SCOLD ME FOR COMING HOME LATER.
SCOLD ME FOR DOING MY STUFF SLOW.
SCOLD ME FOR MESSY TABLE.
YOU RESTRICT MY WORK-
MAJOR PLANNER OF EVENT ALSO SCOLD.
SOLO TOO MUCH PROJECT WORK ALSO SCOLD.
DO THINGS FOR EXTRA CLARIFICATION ALSO SCOLD.
SO YOU RATHER I FAIL MY PROJECT WORK?
YOU RATHER I CAUSE THE INJURY OF SOME CLASSMATE?
YOU RATHER I GET A C GRADE & NOT AN A?

THIS MAKES TOTALLY NO SENSE.

yea. i know sometimes is my fault.
i know it very well.
but it's how i work what. you give me a darn neat table i'll feel so restricted. i don't use msn i'll feel so uninformed. i come home early also do nothing.
JUST TELL ME WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM MAN.
DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T WORK THIS WAY, I CAN'T.
&&&&&&&NOW YOU EVEN WANT TO SEE ME DO MY WORK.

HEY.
THIS IS SO UNFAIR OKAY.

i don't wna quarrel la.
it's just so pointless. whatever i say, it's wrong.
i raise my voice, my fault. like c'mon. aren't you like the one who 无理取闹 in the first place?
i work the way i want.

I HATE THIS.
it sucks.
through&through.

i don't get it.
am i so untrustable? o.O

ohyea. thx dear. you gave me the assurance i needed tht day. <3
but i don't like the feeling of being ignored. I HATE IT.

squeaked.
11:13 PM
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